"That's risky..."
"I don't know how that would work."
"That's a lot of work..."
These are statements smart people make when they encounter outside-of-the-box challenges where the payoff is uncertain. Whether the goal is putting a paintbrush to a canvas, buying a domain name, or joining a sports team, smart people convince themselves there are external factors making it impossible.
I am a master of convincing myself the easy path is the logical one. Jobs have fallen into my lap in the past and I have ignored red flags because "it is a good job and will look good on my resume". I have let good habits slide because I have convinced myself they don't make financial sense - "these iron pills are expensive, so I will just eat extra spinach to keep my anaemia under control." I have let go of something I love because I think my time should be put elsewhere because "I can show true loyalty to my company by spending that extra two hours working instead of going to yoga class." I can count the times decisions like these have been right without holding any fingers up.
It turns out, these secret goals, extra-curricular passions, and budding interests are what make us who we are. We may think that watercolour painting doesn't fit the persona of the investment banker and therefore will not be seen as a valid hobby, but this shouldn't be true. When the investment banker dips her brush into the water and sees the cloud of pigment swirl away, her brain unwinds a little of her day. Her brain recovers. Her heart recovers. She lets go of stress, coming back to work refreshed and ready for more work the next day. If she had stayed at the office later instead, her patience would be thin and her mind would be slower. Yet, she won't tell her boss she needs to leave at five because she has had inspiration for a new painting. She is worried this will harm her reputation as a hard worker and could threaten her job security. She might be accused of lack of focus. Why would she need to sell paintings when she has a good job? Won't she get more promotions faster if she throws herself all-in on her "real" job?
We hide the incongruity in our goals, even from ourselves because unacknowledged desires are easier to ignore. Why and how we do this is personal, but all of these excuses have a few things in common.
We are afraid of failure.
It is common knowledge that some study somewhere along the line said that if we tell people our goals, we are more likely to achieve them. Something about telling people makes the goals seem real and tangible. Yes, all true, but if we tell people a goal but frame it as a far-off dream for a different life while also cushioning it in seemingly logical statements about finances, effort, time, or potential downsides it is easy to side-step the goal. This beehive we build of the reasons not to try protects our pride when we don't achieve the goal.
We are afraid of the unknown.
Vision. Planning. Strategy. These words are given extreme deference throughout our formative years. We admire entrepreneurs with a vision to change the world with their new product. We praise interviewees who have a five-year plan for their careers. We venerate moguls who engineer the formation of a new growth strategy for their company or industry. All of these people and acts deserve praise, but not at the expense of the small goals set by individuals with nothing but passion and desire. Why do our goals need to be big and world-changing? Why can't they just be fulfilling now so later we can see where they take us? Why do we need a why? Just because there is no certain chance at success due to scant resources or lack of publicity shouldn't prevent us from jumping in with two feet. In fact, even our definition of "success" might need some work, though that is an entirely different blog post.
Perhaps the data analyst who mixes music in his free time doesn't book any shows and only gets 100 views on his YouTube videos isn't changing the world, but he is changing his own life and the life of his 100 viewers. He is following his interests and passion, and best of all, he is entering the unknown and having fun doing it. He is letting all sides of his personality show, and that is the best way to be successful in this world made of narrow definitions of absolutely everything.
We are afraid of what others will think.
Yes, we form the goal because we have a deep desire to achieve it. A very deep desire. So deep that the goal is likely a key part of who we are, who we have ignored thus far because it doesn't fit with the rest of who we seem to be. The woman born in a bustling city might want to try homesteading, or the barista barely out of high school might want to start his own artisan clay coffee mug company. Whether the goals are bigger, bolder manifestations of a path we are already on, or whether they are an extreme counter-point to where we are now, adding a bold new goal to the checklist we give people we know is frightening. By throwing others a curve ball, we lose the ability to predict if or where they will hit the ball back to us.
Rise Up.
In an age when talented yarn-bombers can make a living on YouTube, there is absolutely no reason to make excuses. If there is time for Netflix, there is time to set a goal during the countdown to the next episode. If there is time for laundry there is time to build a strategy while watching the hypnotic spinning of the machine. If there is time for happy hour drinks there is time to share these goals and budding strategies with friends. The plan doesn't need to be fool-proof, nor does it need to be complete. The third step can be in draft form while the first is set in motion. We all need to rise up and reach for the goal we thought was too high or too strange. We need to make ourselves our priority and give ourselves the gift of validation.
So, rise up, step up, and reach. Now.
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